As I was drifting into a rather exciting sex dream, I suddenly felt something poking at my shoulder. While trying to redirect the poking to a more desirable location, I was suddenly jolted awake by a rather bewildered Jane. It took me a second to get myself together and I looked around to see the now full lecture hall of our biology class. Before I had a chance to express to Jane that short of a suicide bomber in the row in front of ours, I would no longer appreciate being awoken in such a crude manner she exclaimed,

"Elina!! LOOK we have a new professor!" As my gaze turned to the front of the lecture hall, I spotted an extremely attractive black man making his way to the podium. Dark chocolate. Yum.

"Damn" I express to Jane who was coincidentally going through a spurt of jungle fever at the time. But before I was even able to focus all my attention on putting an end to her incessant drooling, I happened to catch something else out of the corner of my eye.

"Jane, what's thaaat? What's he hiding in the front of his, his paaants? HOLY FUCK BALLS!!!"

" I KNOW!!!," Jane finally let out after a good ten minutes of not being able to formulate words. "It's fucking huge, and we're sitting like 10 rows back!" I expressed completely in awe. All the while, I wondering how he managed not to take out the whole front row as he passed by them. Without saying another word to each other I glanced over at Jane and we made the executive decision to move from the 10th row of the hall to the very front row right as class began. I had to investigate this further. Was that really his dick? Does he stuff his pants? Would he mind if I went ahead and checked for myself? Will I have to bend at the knees just to lift that thing out of his pants? I needed to find out.

"Hi ladies" he greeted us as we settled in after our dash.
"Well hello yourself Professor Horsecock" I thought to myself while gathering all my energy to keep my eyes from drifting down. As usual my attempt to center my look above his midsection failed like a fat kid climbing the rope in gym class. Right then and there I realized that paying attention to anything but his samurai sword will be nearly impossible this upcoming semester. And seeing as the exact dimensions of his cock will hardly qualify as legitimate exam answers I might have a slight problem.

"Where can I buy horse blinders?!" I inquire to Jane who was still enamored by Horsecock. I then realized asking her any questions today would be about as pointless as asking Stevie Wonder if my ass looks big in these jeans, and turned my head away from her.

The next few weeks to follow consisted of Jane and I sitting practically in his lap during all of the lectures and whispering back and forth:

Horsecock: " Today, I have a long.....

Me 'whispering' to Jane: "PENIS!"

Horsecock: "...list of topics to go over."

Jane and I: Giggling til pee almost came out

Horsecock: "These types of cells come in two favors...

Jane to me: "CHOCOLATE!"

....more giggling

This went on incessantly until Professor Horesecock decided that it was his charming 'personality' and witty humor that made Jane and I cream our pants weekly. This gave him an excuse to start flirting with us. It started with a few suggestive comments back and forth nothing out of the ordinary. Then it progressed to him teaching right in front of out faces. Here I noticed that with every stretch or sharp turn of his I'd potentially get smacked right across the face face with his dick. I didn't mind.

And so it continued more or less subtly for a few weeks. One day, after accidentally getting plastered before class, I took my usual seat in anticipation for Horsecock. Immediately I regretted not drinking enough to make my vision double: after all looking at two huge dicks are always better than one.

Out of the corner of my eye I see the door swing open and his head appear in the doorway, then a few minutes later the rest of his body appeared. He strolled over to the podium and exclaimed to me

" Brrr I'm freezing! Aren't you cold?!" Shocked that he maintained a good yard long in his pants while cold, I gave him an approving nod, and answered "Nahh I'm actually really really hot"

"Here!" I exclaimed while taking my black and white Michael Kors printed scarf off my neck and holding it in front of him jokingly. To my surprise he took the scarf from my hands with a wink and wrapped it around his neck. He then continued to lecture for the next hour and a half with this scarf on him.

"I think it's my lucky scarf!" he announced, "I'm sure I'll get a lot of attention wearing it," he continued flirtatiously.

"Yeah maybe from men," I let out with a smirk. I was not at all amused by the gay factor of his upper body the scarf added to. IN fact, I really didnt appreciate anything that would turn my attention anywhere above his belt line.

Clearly unhappy with my question of his sexuality, and inquiry into whether it is in fact pussy that makes his hammer go from six to midnight, Horsecock continued,

"Wow the scarf smells great though! What is that?!" "Perfume, cigarettes, and booze" Luckily I don't think he heard me seeing as he was smothered in my scarf with the adoration of an ex convict embracing the pussy after being locked up for 10 years. I proceeded to pry it out of his death clasp on my way out. This resulted in a sort of MK scarf tug of war that would only typically take place between a gay man and a woman at a clearance sale. However I won eventually and for the next three weeks we continued this ritual until it became so routine that I hardly even made eye contact with him when collecting my scarf at the end of the hour. And slowly he grew on me, not in me as I would have liked, but I guess we had to start somewhere.

I pictured us frolicking through campus together. Me holding his hand, and by hand I of course always mean shlong. Then we would bike ride into the sunset, screaming with both hands in the air, because his incredible hulk will steer us freely. I could not have thought of a more romantic fantasy, after all he was everything I was looking for in a man. Big dick and a great personalllitt...big dick.

It was all fun and games, until the one day I actually showed up to class sober. There are only a handful of things I do better when I'm sober, public speaking being one of them. And seeing as I had an important Marketing presentation after Horsecock's class I used his mind-fuckingly boring lecture as time to go over my speech in my head. I repeated it over and over again to settle my nerves, after all my professor in that class was a complete cuntbag and would settle for nothing less than perfection. I figured that to the outside world I looked completely zoned out because my eyes were glazed over, so I'd assume that if Horsecock glanced in my direction he'd just conclude that I have a minor drug problem.

All of the sudden, mid- thought about market segmentation, I see a black hand waving up in down in front of my face. I look up and focus in on Horsecock waving frantically in my direction "WHOAH!!!" he announces to the whole room, " What are you looking at?!" he blasts while jokingly placing both hands over his crotch!!! My jaw dropped to the floor as the gasps resounded from my fellow classmates who were already convinced I was fucking him.

I realized that while I was completely zoned out, my eyes were focused on his right hand which was placed on his hip, not a long ways away from his crotch. However I can honestly say this was the ONE time was wasn't actually staring at the package. "Fuck!" I exclaim as I look at him with astonishment.

" Is this really happening to me?!" I kep thinking. " I REALLY just got called out by a professor for staring at his dick. Holly shit, I think this is a new all time low," I reflected to Jane who was laughing so hard I suspected she might loose control of her bowels.

However before I had a chance to ask if anyone had a pooper scooper on hand, my attention turned back to Horsecock.
I see that he quickly realizes that it's not just him and I in the room, and that he in fact he just embarrassed himself in front of the rest of the lecture hall which was completely in the dark about the events proceeding his outburst. It hits him that his students just witnessed him grab at his crotch for no apparent reason. There was no way to explain this to over 50 people. Afterall he was 5 shades darker than a Michael Jackson impersonator should be now a days anyway.

At this point, Jane was continued laughing so hard that I estimated it has been a good 5 minutes before she inhaled to take a breath. I briefly debated performing CPR on her, but knowing her she's just use it as an excuse to slip me the tongue, and that would just be counter productive at this point. Maybe later .

In the end, Horsecock embarrassed himself more than I ever could have on my own, he then turned maroon and kept his talking to me at a minimum for the last few weeks of the semester. Eventually,whether they find out the hard way or not, most people learn that talking to me is most likely best kept to a minimum anywaysm That is unless you are due for a good cry, and my commitment to help with that was the sole reason of my facebook account after all.

Like all things good or bad in life, this class ended I had no time to think about Professor Horsecock seeing as I was giving old St. Nick a big FUCK YOU and heading to the Jewland of Israel for Christmas break. This month long trip was occupying all of my time! I was shopping, and packing, and causing as much trouble as humanly possible. Before I leave the country, I have a tendency to see just how many people I can piss off/bang before I get the fuck out of here. Usually things are forgotten by the time I get back and I am free to do it all over again. I must say that this time I did quite a thorough job and had lost complete sight of my potential Horsecock fuckfest. That is until I talked to my best friend Cheeha one day while sitting outside Starbucks.

"So how's that Bio professor, did he say anything to you after the final??" she inquired suggestively

"Yeah he said' I't been a pleasure;" and winked at me" I remembered

"Ooooooo!!! You should totally do him RIGHT before we leave for Israel!" she exclaimed extremely proud of her idea.

(on a side note: Yes she in fact said "do him." And no, my best friend is not a 12 year, old she just refuses to curse. I try to compensate for her lack of cursing daily. And if I find that I have yet to meet my quota, I am forced to curse out people at my local WAWA. Luckily they already think I have a mild form of terets and don't let it bother them.)

"Right Cheeh! Brilliant idea! I should go ahead and fuck a guy with a dick the size of a baseball bat, RIGHT before I have to go sit on a plane for 12 hours! That idea is even more impressive than your cooking." I said with a smirk

"Ok good point, never mind then" she answered slightly squirming in her seat at the thought of the idea."

"Glad we're on the same page here. I guess I can fuck him when I get back right after I get my annual Costco size bottle of lube.