Elina's Code

The last week has been sort of in a haze. Perhaps this is simply because i have been swallowing alcohol in the same amounts as cheap hookers intake jizz; but I just don't see anything wrong with this anymore. Life is just better with a little bit of a buzz. I know what your thinking..." what a fucking alcoholic!" And my answer is simply no I am not. Alcoholics are self pitying quitters and quite frankly I find them to be quite a buzz kill and would like absolutely nothing to do with them.

Chances are a guy sipping on water at a club or a bar is simply not gaining entry into my pants. The only way I can let that one slip by is if his penis satisfies my rather gargantuan expectations...that is if he can also use it as a third leg or samurai sword. Yes I love the cock (sorry ladies) I love the cock. So if you ever see me at a bar and are sipping on some pussy ass non alcoholic beverage, make sure I am promptly informed about the condition and size of your package before offering to go home with me. I may still say no, but I will be very touched and flattered by the gesture. Who knows, maybe after I down a few I'll fit in a little hand job in the bathroom. But otherwise I don't bother with sober people. I find them quite dull and unnecessary.

And moreover, no matter what anyone says, there is nothing like a bond between two drunk people. I don't care how long or well u know each other, your drinking buddy for the night is the new love of your life. Your both blissfully happy, and this is why I insist on drinking. When else do people enjoy life to this extent? I just don't know.

Also this may be a good time to mention that most people really do annoy the shit out of me. If you are in my life you are fully aware of the fact that you are loved. If not, then you prob know I'd rather be gang banged by 12 Mexican midgets with a plethora of STDs than sit through a whole conversation with you. On a good night I will either opt to ignore you or simply walk away. Don't under any circumstance be offended by this gesture, after all you will learn soon enough that this is me simply sparing u from the alternative.

Yes on the nights when I'm feeling a tad more fucked up and angry at life I will actually sit there and conduct a conversation with you that will later make you want to slit your wrists. My friends take sick pleasure in these conversations I have with people I dislike and can now sense them coming on, starts with a few innocent questions... like "where do you live" or "what do you do" and will most likely end with a question resembling:"so do you like fuck your mother often or is it just when the dog gets tired?"